Monday, November 24, 2008

All Apologies

The following is a guest editorial by Mr. Frank Boothe, also known as "The Google Blogger Marshal". He is a defender of all blog visitors and without his guidance and strong arm censorship tactics the blogosphere would be a much harsher, meaner place to surf. He recently took offense to one of my "Bogus Band Bio's" and as part of my agreement with google he is entitled to one posting per quarter.

It is what it is, folks.

Really, sincere apologies to anyone who came to this blog searching for a serious biography or blog entry on any of the following: Styx, Journey or Steve Perry, Focus, Supertramp, Jeff Lynne or Kula Shaker.

Really, I mean it.

I can picture you now, all curled up in your bunny slippers and/ or prosthetic Vulcan ears, fingers raw and bleeding from too many World Of Warcraft marathons searching valiantly for a discussion board on the afore mentioned "artists".

You conducted a google search with phrases like "Steve Perry is the coolest", or "Mr. Roboto RULES", truly believing you'd find a kindred spirit or two to share your passions. Therein lies the rub with organic search results, my friends.

Alas, I'm afraid you've come here in vain only to find a bitter music snob who will do nothing more than mock and ridicule your musical icons and heroes.

But wipe away those tears with your cheese doodled fingers you lovers of all things maudlin and saccharin for you have reason to rejoice! Uncle E and his merry pranksters actually do share your passion for cheese. Oh yes, I know this is true for I have firsthand accounts of this from many reliable witnesses. I have heard tell that good old Uncle E slips on a Supertramp album from time to time. I have heard that he catalogues his beloved Queen collection and one witness has reported that they have heard him spin ELO's Out Of The Blue so many times that their ears bled.
So suffice it to say that the king wears no clothes, that he is as guilty as you are, that his ears are no more attuned to the finer sounds than anyone else visiting this so-called "better music" blog.

You are welcome here anytime my little lost lambs.

Come back as often as you'd like.

We'll be your shelter.

7 comments:

The Queen said...

OK, now wait just a cotton pickin' minute. You've been dissing Supertramp and ELO? I'll have you know that for the past 6 months or so I have been listening to Supertramp and ELO pretty much nonstop, if you don't count the random Abba tune every once in a while, anything Queen did in 1980 and Nazareth's "Black Betty." Ever since I started dating my 9th grade boyfriend again, I'm a hound for that stuff.
(But so far I have been resistant to succumbing to anything by Asia, Foreigner or Boston, or any other band named after a city.)

Uncle E said...

Not "dissing", per se, simply embelishing the histories of said bands with a wacked out sense of humor. That's all. I'm a HUGE Queen fan, ditto on the Supertramp and I can certainly appreciate Jeff Lynne and his electric light orchestra...but you gotta admit that they're ripe for satire and some fun abuse.

Hal Johnson said...

I'm still stung about how he made fun of Focus . . .

Holly A Hughes said...

WHO MADE FUN OF FOCUS????

I notice nobody here is defending Styx. Or does it fit under The Queen's prohibition against any band named after a place? (Technically, you know, Asia isn't a city. Nor is Kansas, and that band belongs in this discard file too.) But can we give Chicago a Get Out Of Jail Free card? They cut a few good tracks before they went down the tubes.

RumpRoast said...

Black Betty was by Ram Jam.

As for some Canadian content on the city/place thing: i offer "Toronto" and "Chilliwack" as evidence of the "bands named after places suck" thing.

And, really, is there ANY defence for Styx ?


Happy Thanksgiving, my colonial cousins!

Any major dude with half a heart said...

There is no excuse for Styx.

I'm having a deja vu moment since I;'m about to support Holly... Chicago were brilliant until Peter Cetera broke out of Muppet jail and took over the band. 25 Or 6 To 4. What a great rock song.

The Queen said...

Thanks for the correction, Roast O' Rump! Since the 8th grade I have been getting Ram Jam & Nazareth mixed up. How could I do that? I'm ashamed.
I am not ashamed, however, that yesterday I downloaded KC & The Sunshine Band's "Boogie Shoes" into my boyfriend's phone for his new ring tone.