Monday, November 3, 2008

Shuckin' The Jive

The following has nothing to do with music, or comics for that matter, it's just something I read the other day that made me laugh out loud. And since that doesn't happen very often I thought I'd share. After you read it you'll probably be convinced that I'm this totally bonkers guy living in a basement like that Silence Of The Lambs dude, but I'm really quite normal. I've just got a very bizarre sense of humor.

Enjoy, and special props to whomever can name the author or the book from which this was taken.

"I was sitting at home, peeking through the blinds at my neighbor's wife, minding my own business, when my doorbell rang. "Who's there?" I shouted. "We don't know," came the reply. I immediately knew the dopes had come over. I opened the door and invited them in. I was happy to have company even if they were a bunch of dopes.

'Well, what brings you over this way?" I queried.
"Yup." they said.

"Would you like some coffee?" I asked.
"Gol," said one dope, "how long have we been here?"
"About two minutes."
"Gol, we should have left hours ago!" And they packed up some of my things and lumbered out.
"Goodbye Dopes!" I shouted.
They turned to me and shouted back, "Goodbye, you big fuckin' idiot!"


Hal Johnson said...

What, no comment from Phil to the effect that you can't be normal because you're half Canadian? I'm so disappointed.

As for me, I would have vouched for you being a normal guy except for one thing: that evil gleam in your eye when I told you I hadn't played poker in twenty years.

Uncle E said...

Yeah, that surprised me as well Hal. He must be ill.

Mark said...

I know Steve Martin when I hear it! I think this is from Cruel Shoes, his first book. (His book Pure Drivel is really funny as well.)

Uncle E said...

Mark, nice one! I'll have to pick up Pure Drivel now.