Friday, November 28, 2008

"Shiny Headed Second Rate Rocker Throws Hissy Fit"


I hear Billy Corgan is throwing a hissy fit on the Smashing Pumpkins (or what's left of them, anyway) recent tour.

Honestly, is anyone surprised by this? The guy always was, and remains, a doofus. Sure, he made two decent albums (Siamese Dream and Mellon Collie), but that'll only carry you so far. As Pitchfork rightly point out (there's a first time for everything) he released a mediocre album and his fans want to hear the old stuff at the shows. For $150+ per seat you better damn well play your hits if you ask me. Especially if the latest dreck you've released sounds like warmed over Equinox-era STYX (no offense to Dennis DeYoung and co.). Here's the quote by Corgan that really got my goat: "Last I checked we were in an alternative band. 'Alternative' means 'different than what everyone else is doing,' including those reunion bands that go out and just play the old songs." A not so subtle reference to The Pixies, a far superior band with way more class.

Like it or not, Billy boy, you're now a nostalgia act. And a second rate Peter Gabriel wannabe one at that, you prima donna has-been. Stop berating your fans who bought you that autographed Rick Wakeman double-necked bass guitar by spending their hard earned cash on your crappy faux prog rock and start acting your age. You're a footnote in the history of rock and roll you bald headed baby.

You are Nickleback.

Just chaps my ass, man!

7 comments:

Any major dude with half a heart said...

STANDING OVATION!

Anonymous said...

you have no idea what you're talking about uncle e. fuck you, and fuck pitchfork.

Ayn Rind said...

Too long have we stood by as incorrigible hooligans inspired by this Billy Cardigan fellow have gone from community to community smashing pumpkins. Pumpkin entrails line suburban streets on November 1st after these ne'er-do-wells have done their worst by hurling unsuspecting porch fruits to the "harsh pavement of death" in a widespread post-Halloween frenzy of wanton destruction.
This "rock and roll" craze with be the end of civilized society yet.

Dust In The Wind Rocker said...

You had me at "Equinox-era Styx."

Susan Underhill said...

Uncle E, you are so, so...hateful. Is that any way to talk about chemo patients? I bet you make fun of people with colostomy bags too.

Billy The Punkin said...

Who is Peter Gabriel?

Uncle E said...

Wow, popular post today. Let me address each and every one of you, most of whom are first timers I believe.

Any Major Dude: "Thank You, Thank You!"

Anonymous: "Billy, is that you?"

Ayn Rind: "Cool name, and I'm in total agreement with you on the horrors of pumpkin abuse."

Dust In The Wind: "You complete me"

Susan: "I didn't mean any harm. So very sorry..."

Billy:"Funniest comment I've read in a long, long time!"